THE EDUCATION OF GRANDMA

Education is the best provision for old age.

ARISTOTLE [384-322 B.C.]

        I’ve mentioned before that my great-grandfather valued education.  I suspect it was because he didn’t have a whole lot of it himself.  He was born in 1861, when all young men had to work very hard to survive.  I guess that’s why he wanted it so badly for his children.  Your body could wear out, but education would be protection against poverty.

     His oldest daughter, my grandmother, was like him in that respect.  She and my grandfather sacrificed a lot so that their daughters could be educated beyond high school, and this was in the 1930s during the Great Depression.   I don’t know how they did it. The girls did have jobs, and maybe some small scholarships.  Somehow, though, I got the impression that my grandfather wasn’t “all in” on the idea.

     Grandma was a member of the first graduating class of Clearwater High School, in 1910.  At that time, a lot of people considered twelve years of schooling unnecessary.  Granddaddy went through the eighth grade, which was considered a complete education.   Girls certainly had a lot to do at home until they were married, and young men found employment with their hands – good employment if you were skilled.  My grandfather learned to be a carpenter.

     I don’t think Grandma had any great scholastic ambitions; she just enjoyed figures and bookkeeping, and was good at it.  She loved cooking and flower gardening; to her, those were the creative areas of running a household.  She wasn’t one who aimed to “do it all”; she just lived her life and tried to find pleasure in mundane things.  And she put her bookkeeping skills to use in later years when she and Granddaddy rented out rooms to “winter guests.” 

     In her teens, she had a best friend named Fanny, and they were friends all of their lives.  Grandma used to talk about how much she missed Fanny when she moved with her family to Atlanta.  When I was junior high age, I would ask Grandma what they did for fun; did they go out with boys?  No, that sure didn’t happen, but apparently they did have supervised gatherings with boys.  She described how a group would pull taffy at home, which sounded like fun.  She said they would also make mayonnaise together(?).  I’m ashamed to say that I was rude and laughed out loud at this – how boring!  I still don’t understand why that would be a fun group activity; I guess I don’t know enough about the times. 

     After high school, she went to Southern College for one year.  It was located in Palm Harbor, which was called Sutherland at the time.  She boarded with relatives, and I feel sure that she must have studied bookkeeping and business.  She finished in 1911 or 1912.

     I have a picture of her that I love.  I think it was taken when she graduated from high school.  She seems so happy in her quiet way.  She is wearing a bracelet that has an interesting history.  The story goes that her family had an old hired man who never married and saved every nickel he ever made.  Grandma had three sisters, and upon each one’s graduation, he gave her a gold bracelet.  Grandma’s has three tiny blue stones in it.  It is lovely to see her wearing it, because usually her only jewelry was a simple pearl necklace and earrings.  I never in my life saw her wear that bracelet.  Maybe she considered it too young for her or too extravagant for her lifestyle, but because she kept it in a velvet case, it was evident that she treasured it.   It’s true that I can’t think of any occasion to which she would wear a gold bracelet, modest though it was. 

     Upon graduation from college, she of course lived at home.  She had a job in the office of the first Pinellas County Superintendent of Schools, Dixie Hollins.  If memory serves, she was his secretary.  She talked about it often with enjoyment, and I feel that it was a big achievement in her life. 

     There’s a slight mystery about something that happened when she was a young woman.  I feel it was during her time between high school and college graduation.  I think she had a broken romance of some kind, possibly an engagement that was called off.  She went to live with some relatives for three or four weeks, probably an aunt and uncle, of whom she had many.  It didn’t seem to be too far away, but I think it involved a short train ride or a day’s trip by horse and wagon.  She certainly never talked about it, and I have no idea who the young man was.  I sure wish I had listened more closely when my mother and aunts whispered about it.  I was very young at the time, and I just can’t remember.  The story was later confirmed by my knowledgeable cousin Margaret, but even she wasn’t sure of the identity of the boy in question.

     When I overheard my mother and aunts, I felt they must be talking about another person – Grandma had a boyfriend, someone before Granddaddy?   I couldn’t imagine it, because to me they were ancient and had never been young.   Grandma was a sensitive person, but very composed.   To think that she was upset to the point that she went away hurt me very much.  She didn’t like to be emotional in front of people, although she laughed quite often.  To think of my elderly grandmother as a vulnerable young woman was beyond what I could grasp.  One thing I loved about her was her serenity.   

     As I mentioned, she enjoyed talking about her time working for Dixie Hollins.  I think she liked being a “professional”.   It was during this time that she met my grandfather.  I have some of his letters to her, and they are beautiful, though he was a quiet, private person.  They’re also amusing; his dry sense of humor shines through.  I’ve only read them once or twice because I feel like I’m “snooping”, but they are an interesting window into the times.  Not that many people had telephones in their homes, so letters and cards were the main form of communication.  He is always eager to hear from her.   Grandma only saved a few – they range from 1913-1914.  He talks about what work he did that day, and always encourages her to answer him quickly. 

     It’s an interesting look at the postal system.  In most of them they are both in Clearwater, but live at different ends of town.  In one dated June 1913, he finalizes plans for them to go to a local baseball game the next day at 3:00, and he will pick her up at 2:30.  So he expects her to receive the letter the next morning – amazing!  Clearwater is playing St. Pete,  but he fears that Clearwater will probably lose.  I think that she and Granddaddy were engaged in the 1914 letters,  because they married on May 16, 1915. One thing I marvel about.  Though he was a carpenter, Granddaddy’s penmanship was exquisite.  I understand that this was stressed greatly in those days.  Having good handwriting was important no matter what occupation you had. I know it was important to write legibly, but the beautiful penmanship at that time conveys a kind of dignity and pride in whatever you did.

       I’m sure Grandma saved up her salary except for what she contributed to her parents’ household.  And I know that she didn’t work after she was married.  Running even a small house was hard work and a full-time career.  She enjoyed being independent, and having her own house and garden to run as she pleased was something she loved.  She was very fulfilled.

     She was also a teetotaler.  No big fuss was made about it, but I remember during family gatherings that sometimes the men would quietly disappear to the back porch.  Liquor wasn’t allowed in the house, but somehow the back porch was okay.  I noticed this practice at my great-grandmother’s home too. 

     In 1965, when I was sixteen, my family moved to Atlanta.  My grandmother visited us when we got settled, and Mom was enlisted to drive us to Fanny’s home so they could have a reunion.  I wonder if it was the first time they had seen each other since they were young.  They talked as if it was.  Grandma was excited in her quiet manner. 

     Fanny had never married, and now lived alone in her family’s house.  She was a charming lady, and I think she had been a career woman in her younger days.  Grandma and Fanny were in their seventies at this time.  I sat admiring Fanny’s rather genteel home while they talked.  It was more refined than Grandma’s house, though Fanny proved to be a down-to-earth and welcoming person.  What happened next was something I still laugh about. 

     Fanny went to the kitchen and came back carrying a silver tray with cake, a glass decanter, and beautiful small glasses.  The decanter contained Fanny’s homemade wine, which she seemed very proud of.  It was made from Welch’s grape juice with yeast and sugar, right in her kitchen.  My mother immediately started giggling – how would Grandma handle this?

     Good manners and affection for her friend prevailed, and Grandma took tiny sips.  Even I had some, and she didn’t bat an eye.  You could have drunk the whole decanter and gone about your day –it was harmless.  But Mom couldn’t resist “tweaking” her mother – it was something she loved to do.  (She had been the “problem child.”)  She immediately asked Fanny for the recipe, and wrote it down.  Wise to my mother’s wicked ways, Grandma smiled as if that was a lovely idea. 

     I still have Fanny’s wine recipe in my mother’s handwriting, but I have never made it myself.  I would feel a little guilty.  I loved Grandma just the way she was.